On the Edge of Scared - Book Title

[SJ Rainne]

Below I posted a "comment" on my prologue of my book On the Edge of Scared.  I am kind of new at this, but would love for you on this site to tell me if my prologue "hooks" you.  Do you want to read on?  Is it interesting enough to engage you?  Thanks so much.  SJ Rainne

[Gina]

I admit it sounds interesting story wise...but I agree with a few of the others that have already commented.  In the case of a prologue, less is often more.  Her fear doesn't need to be spelled out in this part nor exactly what happens to her mother (at least not both the contortion and the disappearance).

 

Best of luck on this endeavor!  ^_^

[SJ Rainne]

Should I just make it into Chapter One and forget the prologue?

[Jessica K.]

From my understanding that is what is generally done these days. But, there are so many things you can do with that...you could make it into a journal entry, or Chapter 1 or a memory. You should really get into a crit group, a lot of the people there are published and can help you by giving tips that they learned along the way. I have heard lots of really good things about YALitChat, also look for a writers association near you, they usually have a meeting where you can sit down with other local writers and get feedback on your work. You can also email me at [e-mail] and I would be happy to send you some comments. :)

[SJ Rainne]

Once again...thank you Jessica for caring enough to write me with such good advice.  SJ

[Rachel]

Hi, Not that i'm experienced or anything but i think it would make it 'meatier' if you described what was so....macbre that made her vomit. You know 'wallow' in the moment. Sounds really interesting! other than that, sounds golden!

[SJ Rainne]

Thanks Rachael...maybe I need to reword it so the reader knows that the sight of her mother laying distorted and dead makes her vomit.  Good comment.  And thank you for your time.  Please tap me if you need me to look at anything.  SJ