The one phrase that is overused by authors

[Mary]

While editing and reading new releases lately, I've come across an overused phrase that is appearing everywhere and seems to be a popular writing tool. In fact, one new release by a well-known author and published by a major company had this phrase twice....as in two times....on the same page.

"It was as if"....."It was like..." or any variation of this phrase.

Not that I don't think there are times it is useful. In fact, it connects the reader to the idea being presented on multiple levels to provide an analogy. But over using that phrase-as in several times throughout the manuscript-is overkill. Twice on one page would bear a note written in red from me stating "Same wording used twice. Reword one."

The idea to writing, whether fiction or non-fiction material, is to show, not tell. The manuscripts I have enjoyed editing the most are those that have mastered this skill. The wording flows and I can see the movie play in my mind as opposed to trying to form a picture. When you over use the concept of making one point several times, from several angles, you are trying too hard to say it and not show it.

I remember a writing teacher from long ago telling his class to "form a picture" when writing. I say nuts to that. I want dinner and a movie. I want to see the action effortlessly playing in my mind. I want more than a picture. I want a moving picture.

Has anyone else noticed this or are there other phrases that you've seen repeatidly throughout books?

[Simcha Lazarus]

I haven't noticed a particular phrase being used by different authors but what drives me crazy is when an author uses the same word or phrase repeatedly throughout a book, which many authors seem to do. This can ruin a book for me because it distracts me from the rest of the story telling and I even find myself wincing every time that word or phrase comes up.

[Stacy-Deanne]

Don't feel guilty, Stephanie. Just learn from it. I have learned from mistakes I used to make in the past and will continue to learn from mistakes I might make in the future. But, get rid of any "was" in your manuscript if possible. Most times "was" is the most unneeded word. You have to find the best way to write the sentence without using linking verbs that only slow your story down.

Best Wishes!

[Stacy-Deanne]

UGH! Not only is it overused, it's passive! That's a no-no in writing! You shouldn't ever use "was" and other unneeded linking verbs unless you absolutely have to! They are needed at times but this makes your writing passive and you shouldn't write passive!

You won't find that in any of my books believe me. I make it a point to be strict on passive writing and using unneeded verbs that only make the sentence wordy. Also, it's lazy writing. Sounds like the people you've been editing or reading need to research on creative writing and grammar. Passive is not effective.

Best Wishes!

http://www.stacy-deanne.net

[Mary]

What aggrevates me the most is not necessarily the manuscripts I am editing-although they seem to be following the current trend. When I read a popular new release by a major publisher and it has that phrase twice on the same page, I have to wonder about editing standards. When I see this same phrase used repititously by several authors/wanna be authors, I can't resist the urge to call attention to it. You make a great point regarding passive writing. That should be a mandatory class authors take before getting their first book published.

[Stacy-Deanne]

Hi Mary,

You are doing your authors a great service by bringing this to their attention. I am surprised at how many writers (new and published and even FAMOUS!) break the "writer's law" and use passive writing. You can really tell the difference in the quality of a book when one uses passive and the other doesn't. Most writers do this because it's so easy to do but writing isn't about being easy, you should write the best and clearest way you can.

Also, I wonder if any of these writers are using a word program. I use Word and Word tells you if you are using passive phrases and sentences. Not only that, through research, I am always reminding myself of what verbs weaken the story. Authors must continue to research. I think a lot of them are lazy and they see others writing passively and think they can get away with it too.

There are a lot of people who are published by big houses who do not know how to construct a decent sentence, use too many commas, too many linking verbs and write passively. I, like you get tired of seeing this. It offends me because I work very hard to try to clean my work up as much as possible and check over my book MANY times for all different kinds of errors or check for things that weaken the work.

Another thing are the adverbs. What I call the enemy of any REAL writer. This is lazy! If you don't know how to describe something creatively and only rely on adverbs then that writer needs to read up on creative writing. Another good point Mary is how there dialogue tags are. Some of them are horrible. They use the same words over and over with of course, and adverb. They don't know showing from telling.

Michael sighed heavily. This is TELLING!

You don't even have to write Michael sighed. Write him doing something!!!! Action is the key!

Michael knocked the book off his desk and jumped out of his seat. This is SHOWING! We know Michael's pissed or at least upset without the writer telling us.

Mary, I commend you editors. I'd hate to be you, LOL! I know it's hard for you guys because some writers don't even know the basic rules. I appreciate all the advice I get from my agent. She is also an editor and has editor for many published authors and a lot of books that have appeared on the NYT list. I like her because she doesn't do my work for me. She'll tell me to, "clean it up", or "this isn't working". "You repeated this word too much" Sometimes she's so vague, you wouldn't believe, LOL! One thing she never has to tell me is not to write passive or cut or limit backstory (another thing writers don't understand).

She expects me to be skilled enough to point out and catch my own mistakes. I am an author of three books, two with Simon and Schuster. She is darn right to expect that from me and more. She doesn't spoon feed me anything and DOES NOT line edit my books. She says one little thing and it's my job to figure it out. I appreciate how she is with me because I've learned so much from her being like this with me. It also shows she's confident that I know how to get my manuscript as close to perfect as possible.

Writing takes work, Mary. I am glad you posted about this. It kind of burns me how lazy writing gets published because I work very hard to follow the rules. Sure, sometimes you gotta write passively and use an adverb. There are exceptions but a manuscript riddled with this is not going to be as effective as a writer who took the time to show and not tell, to come up with creative tags and to have the sense to know that every line doesn't need a tag. A writer is supposed to be skillful enough to be able to show a character's personality through their own voice where the reader doesn't always need to be told who is talking.
See? Mary I learned all this through the years and it's made my work better. I couldn't rely on the laziness some writers do. It makes no sense to me.

This has been the voice of a writer who is a true professional and takes her work very seriously!

Mary I suggest writers read the Writer's Digest Plot books and story development books. I also suggest all (especially wannabe writers) read Donald Maas- Career Novelist. My agent was discussing it with me the other day and I see he has another book out. Writers have to put in the work and stop trying to cut corners.

Best Wishes!

http://www.stacy-deanne.net