What Are They Waiting For?

[Enbrethiliel]

+JMJ+

 

Since the main reason I blog is to find online friends to discuss books with, I'm always frustrated when I find an interesting blogger, leave lots of chatty comments on her blog, and then never see her show up on my own. And no, I don't mean one of the really busy ones who gets dozens of comments a week and can't realistically be expected to reply to all of them.

 

It has happened several times, and every time it does, I wonder: What are they waiting for? An invitation?

 

Not that it always works, either. There have been a couple of bloggers whom I did invite to visit my blog--even leaving a link--and nothing ever happened.

 

My own habit is to check out the blog of everyone who leaves me a comment. I guess this isn't a universal practice. I'm just surprised that so many people aren't more curious about new visitors, especially when they average only one or two comments per post.

 

A few weeks ago, someone said that Blogger's comments have been acting up, and that might be one factor when comments don't get returned. But I really don't think it's just a technical problem.

 

Another possibility I've considered is that my blog is just not as interesting to others as it is to me. (Ouch!  LOL!) In that case, I guess this post is just to let everyone know that if you like having chatty commenters on your blogs (as I do), then it's really worth returning visits to get them to keep coming back to you.  =)

[Enbrethiliel]

+JMJ+

 

Exactly!

 

On the other hand, assuming we are the only ones interested in friendship, then it will actually be a relief for the other person when we drop her! =P

[Iben]

haha yeah true :p Here we are with the best of intentions harassing some poor soul who just wants to be left alone!

 

Also, just started following your blog, as I realized I wasn't already ^_^

[Enbrethiliel]

+JMJ+

 

I'm following you now, too. No pressure to comment or anything! ;-)

[Joss Arden]

So far, I've only had one person comment on my blog. To be fair, she's commented more than once, but still only one person. I've made a point of checking out her blog, but was unable to find anything I could post a reasonably comment on. I couldn't any posts that dealt with something I was familier enough with to be able to leave a thoughtful comment and I figured anything I could possibly say would sound forced. It's not that I don't appreciate comments (because I do), but I feel like if someone left a thoughtful comment on my blog, I'm doing them a disservice if I say something boring like "nice post" on their blog. I will, however, try to respond to their thoughtful comment on my blog. I think it's important to remember that just because someone hasn't commented on your blog doesn't mean they haven't visited your blog.

[Enbrethiliel]

+JMJ+

 

That's true. I suppose this is whole "making blog friends" thing is speed dating. One party might think there's some good chemistry, but if the other doesn't, then let's hope he takes the hint and leaves, right? LOL!

 

Anyway, it's probably time for me to leave that non-commenter and find other bloggers to be friends with. =)

[Belle's Bookshelf]

I always make a point of checking out the blogs of people who comment on mine, and if I like what I see I'll comment or simply follow. BTW I'm following you now :)

[Enbrethiliel]

+JMJ+

 

Thanks, Belle! 

 

I've just left you a comment on your blog, too! I love the way you engage your readers in the combox. =)

[Enbrethiliel]

+JMJ+

 

If I've seemed "extremely outgoing" to anyone, then I have an acting award that's long overdue. ;-)

 

You know that I've visited your blog several times, Jillian, and I wouldn't accuse you of ignoring your commenters. That you're in it for the personal reflection and not so much for the networking is pretty clear. (I actually have another blog--also very reflective--on which I disabled comments because I didn't want random visitors to think I'd be happy to make friends with them or that I'd care to read their opinions.)

 

But when another blogger puts up a linky, joins a hop, signs up for a challenge or participates in a meme--or perhaps does a combination of several in the same week--then I naturally conclude that she is in it for the networking. And so when I leave several comments that all go completely unacknowledged, I'm baffled enough to start threads like this one. =P

 

On the whole, I agree with you about having chemistry with other bloggers. Although I return comments, I don't always go back and try to strike up a real rapport. I must have less than ten really loyal readers--which is only appropriate, as I must also have less than ten really regular reads.

[Enbrethiliel]

+JMJ+

 

I do appreciate your perspective on this, Jillian! Thanks for jumping into the conversation. =)

 

There's nothing better than having found a "kindred spirit" (as Anne Shirley would say) in another blogger. That's partly why I leave comments: "to test" random spirits I run into. (LOL!) The assumption, of course, is that the ones who are really worth knowing would comment back, and we'd both start going back and forth, and eventually the whole thing would turn into a great inter-blog conversation.

 

Moreover, it just baffles me that many book bloggers--among the ones easiest to run into because they do all that networking--will bend over backwards for followers, offering giveaway after giveaway, rushing to review ARCs before everyone else, asking for interviews with hyped new authors, or trying other tricks that have little to do with original posts; but then, when the followers turn out to be actual readers and commenters on their own writing, they don't seem to care. =/

 

But maybe you're right. Perhaps they do, and they appreciate the comments, and they also become readers of their commenters' blogs, albeit silent ones. Yet you can see why I'd find that frustrating. ;-)

[Anthony Fox]

Hi there,

I see the practice of you follow me and I will follow you a lot on forum sites, blogs etc. Is this really genuine? What I mean do people actually read the blogs they say there’re following, if not then the practice is pretty meaningless.  I read what I what to read and not because ‘xyz’ has x number of followers, but then that’s me always looking outside the box not in it.

Hope you don’t mind my comment.

 

Anthony Fox

[Enbrethiliel]

+JMJ+

 

Hi, Anthony! I don't mind your comment. In fact, it's kind of related to the last tangent Jillian and I went off on. =)

 

I share your observation that not all followers of a blog are also regular readers and commenters. But as far as "genuine" goes, I know that many bloggers do follow other blogs in good faith. It can be a real boost to a new blogger, for instance--and I know of one who deliberately follows very new blogs, just to encourage them to keep writing. And lots of the people who offer to do follows-for-follows are hoping for new contacts just as much as for a higher follower count. 

 

Also, as Jillian said above, let's not discount those who like to read our stuff but prefer to remain silent!

[Alex Baugh]

I find it equally frustrating when you post and post about books and no one really comments, though your stats indicate people were there.

 

http://thechildrenswar.blogspot.com