What Are They Waiting For?

[Enbrethiliel]

+JMJ+

 

Since the main reason I blog is to find online friends to discuss books with, I'm always frustrated when I find an interesting blogger, leave lots of chatty comments on her blog, and then never see her show up on my own. And no, I don't mean one of the really busy ones who gets dozens of comments a week and can't realistically be expected to reply to all of them.

 

It has happened several times, and every time it does, I wonder: What are they waiting for? An invitation?

 

Not that it always works, either. There have been a couple of bloggers whom I did invite to visit my blog--even leaving a link--and nothing ever happened.

 

My own habit is to check out the blog of everyone who leaves me a comment. I guess this isn't a universal practice. I'm just surprised that so many people aren't more curious about new visitors, especially when they average only one or two comments per post.

 

A few weeks ago, someone said that Blogger's comments have been acting up, and that might be one factor when comments don't get returned. But I really don't think it's just a technical problem.

 

Another possibility I've considered is that my blog is just not as interesting to others as it is to me. (Ouch!  LOL!) In that case, I guess this post is just to let everyone know that if you like having chatty commenters on your blogs (as I do), then it's really worth returning visits to get them to keep coming back to you.  =)

[Max Nightjar]

I love comments and feed back  and I have two blogs. children and adults. I never got a comment from you.

www.kidsmartbooks.blogspot.com/  I'm changing this one, in the process at least. www.writestuff-writnow.blogspot.com/

 

 By the way. I have tech problems on bookblogs since may, my send button doesn't work.

 

Toni Mckain/Max

 

[Enbrethiliel]

+JMJ+

 

Hello, Max! =) I hope I didn't leave the impression that I'm just in this for the sake of comments--any comments, as long as they're comments. Sometimes, like the other posters here, I just can't think of anything to say to someone else's post . . . so I say nothing. =P

 

The bloggers I was thinking of when I started this thread are those I've had great rapport with for months, on their blogs, over e-mail, and even on forums. It just bugs me that they never come to my blog.

 

But if you and I do develop such a rapport in the future, I will be glad to know that you do return visits. =) Thanks for your reply!

[K. E. Argonza]

There's nothing that says that they must come to your blog and comment back. Not to be cruel, maybe they have a busy personal life, or... worse yet... might not care for your blog. And when people invite me to their blog (ie. leaving a link in a comment) I WILL NEVER visit. I WILL NEVER reward that type of sleazy, pushy salesmanship behavior.

 

A lot of people don't post for comments. They post because they like to.

 

If someone comments on my blog, and I LOVE their writing, I'll subscribe, comment, chat with them. I'll add them to my blog roll, which is my own personal endorsement of great blogs that I can't live without.

 

If I like a person but don't like their blog, then I won't comment on their site. If I like them personally, I'll twitter, facebook or whatnot, but nothing says that I need to advocate their blog just because they act like they like mine. As it seems - the ones that comment just to get me to comment back don't care about me or my site, they only care about their own stats.

[Barbara Fisher]

Since joining Book Blogs I've had several comments asking me to visit/follow a blog - I don't mind at all as it's a way of finding new blogs to follow. As I’m new to Book Blogs and Blogging I assumed it was the ‘done thing’ so have occasionally left a link with a comment. 

[Enbrethiliel]

+JMJ+

 

It's true that there is no obligation or rule that says every comment must be reciprocated, etc.

 

Just for clarification, the comments I leave people are never just for the purpose of getting traffic back to my own blog. (In fact, if that were my only strategy, I'd have no commenters at all! =P) I actually do care for the bloggers I was thinking of when I started this thread. We have some great discussions on their blogs--and since they network a lot, joining hops regularly, etc.--I assumed they understood this kind of thing goes both ways. Had their blogs indicated more aloofness, I'd understand why visits never got returned.

 

Also, in fairness to those who leave links in comments out of habit (and for the record, I'm not one of them), it's actually not considered rude. I know I'm a bit put off if all they say is "Nice blog! Come and check out mine!", but leaving links like that has actually been recommended by a lot of successful bloggers--both inside and outside the book blogging community. As Barbara said above me, it is the done thing. Perhaps some people do overstep and act like pushy salesmen, but it really is a part of the book blog culture.

[Lesa]

Also, It is very common for bloggers in other communities to end a comment with a signature link back to their blog-- it is not considered rude-- it is considered professional-- like politely leaving a calling card.  I personally don't do it because I use the name/url option for leaving comments-- and if name/url isn't offered, my profile is public so folks can find my blog if they are interested.  Some comment systems even automatically leave a link to the commenter's most recent post. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Enbrethiliel]

+JMJ+

 

Having a signature link can also be thought of as a courtesy. It makes it so much easier for people to follow you back to your own blog. =)

[K. E. Argonza]

Its one thing to post on a social network, its another to come onto a blog and leave links and a comment-back plea.

That's the difference between going to an open market or convention where you network or try to sell yourself and find others and... Say, soliciting at someone's house. People commenting "love your blog! Come comment on mine" is the equivalent of a door-to-door salesman.

[Enbrethiliel]

+JMJ+

 

Just delete them and don't let them bother you. =) I did that for a while.

 

Think of it as the equivalent of meeting the door-to-door salesman (which, at least where I live, there's no law against) with a shotgun. ;-)

[Jamie]

I visit a lot of blogs, but don't always comment.  Sometimes I just don't have anything to say and frankly I'm not one of those "nice blog" or "nice review" type commenters.  I like to have something to say, I think it makes my comment more meaningful when I leave them.  I guess my thoughts are it's much nicer to comment when your comment expresses something to the blogger.  So what happens is I don't have a one to one comment relationship with others.  Some people I pepper their blog with comments because what they are talking about sparks an interest with me, others I don't have anything to say on.  It doesn't mean you are a bad blogger, I just don't always know what to say or I may not be interested in the topic of the day.

[Enbrethiliel]

+JMJ+

 

Come to think of it, the bloggers I have "one-to-one" comment relationships with are those I don't read that often. In their case, I'm just being courteous . . . but sometimes it develops into something more interesting. =) But what I'm writing about here is more like a "fifteen-to-zero" comment relationship. =P And you can bet those fifteen or so comments were meaningful! 

 

As I said to K Syrah a few posts above in this thread, I'd understand why they'd do this if they were aloof bloggers who'd probably be happier disabling comments. But the ones I have in mind are regulars on follower hops and other memes; they love to network. So it just seems weird.

[Margaret Jones]

I've been blogging for a while, but am still quite new to inter-blogger relationships - so excuse my ignorance, but what are hops and memes??