What do you do when someone makes a personal attack in a comment??

[Jill Elizabeth]

So question - how do you handle this??  I have to approve comments before they appear on my blog - I'm no fan of censorship, but don't know what to do when the comment is of the "you are an idiot and completely stupid" vein...  

I've had two people (I'm assuming different people, but don't know if that's true) make comments of this kind - one on my blog (where I can approve/disapprove comments before they post) and one on a GoodReads book review (where I can delete things after they post but can't prevent them from posting in the first place).  To be extra, crystal clear: I'm not talking about an "I disagree with you and here's why..." comment, but about an actual ad hominem attack in which I'm called things like idiotic, irritating, or pompous without any explanation other than that they don't like the rating/review I gave a book.

I understand that putting my opinions out into the world invites comments/criticism - I'm ok with that, if they're actually comments or criticism.  But things like "Wow, you sure are pompous and irritating" (actual quote) followed by a description of how the books in my personal library mark me as an idiot aren't really what I consider "comments"...

I'm not being thin-skinned - I get it that not everyone will agree with me or like me.  I'm fine with that, I'm a big girl.  But I don't really see what the point is in the personal attack - you don't have to like me or agree with me.  You don't have to read my blog either.  As a defender of the freedom of opinions and their expression, I feel funny not approving or deleting comments from real people - but I have to confess that I don't really see what purpose is served by posting them either.

Thoughts??

[Zrinka Jelic]

I read some place that authors on Goodreads are not allowed to reply back to readers. Not even to thank them for reading and reviewing thier books So you could alert Goodreades of this and they will act on your behalf. This author may be asked to leave Goodreads.

Having to say that, I usually only rate books I didn't find great by giving them 3 stars and don't bother with review. Just to avoid someone lashing out like this. It's just not worth the aggravation. If they can't take some criticism then they should not be writers. Not everyone will like my book either and so what? But what gets me is when someone starts their review by I don't normally read romance ... I know right away the review won't be good. So I'd say if the reader is biased at the get go he should not continue.

[Leon Terrell Ash]

Listen Jill, its simple. IF someone post a negative comment about YOU on the blog that YOU created, then I feel you should keep that blog as positive as you can when the language is about you.  I don't care about critics, if they post a negative post on my blog Im going to delete it.  Why does everybody need to know who doesn't like my writings? You know the saying, "ONe bad post corrupts the entire bunch of posts."  Its enough negative things in the world, don't allow it on YOUR blog and don't allow it to bring YOU down. YOU don't need to read that everyday. HOpe this helped. visit my blog at www.terrellash.blogspot.com and twitter me at http://twitter.com/#!/terrellash

[Nikki-ann]

I think I'd delete and ignore. There's just no understanding some people... I don't get why people want to be nasty when there's no need for it. Is there any way of blocking their IP address on your blog? I know when I view the comments on my control panel I can see commentors IP addresses and my host allows IP blocking.

[Nick]

I think you should just ignore such comments.
If you reply to them, they reply back to you and then a huge fight erupts.
That's what's happening to many people on Goodreads now.
I think it's honestly disgusting. We should all respect each other's opinions.

[jeff ashcroft]

ignore them, I do and I'm sure anyone else with a degree of intelligence will do to. As a retired Police officer I'm used to being  called names. In essence the words cannot harm you unless you let them. Be true to yourself and ignore the ignorant.

[Michelle Wright]

I understand how you feel, it's not necessary to go so far as to call you an idiot. The problem with the internet is it's SO easy to be nasty or insulting as you are not facing the person, this has laid open a whole new world where people who enjoy annoying others are running rife. Then there are the others who cannot or will not tolerate constructive criticism, or other peoples views. You have a right to your thoughts, views, comments and if you feel that something is not suitable for your blog then you don't have to show it and you should feel confident in your decison as those of us, including me, who would never go for the jugular agree with you.

 

[Patricia Gligor]

Jill,

Let me ask you a question. How would you handle a situation like that in your everyday life? If someone walked up to you and said, "You're pompous, stupid . . . ," what would you say or do?

Unfortunately, there are a lot of just plain nasty people in the world. For whatever reason, they seem to take pleasure in undermining other people. Most of the time, I believe, they're motivated by jealousy.

Since you have the ability to decide whether or not to approve a comment, you have power. Delete comments made by idiots! I think the best response to those kinds of comments is either to ignore them or, if you're in a position where you feel you need to respond, to smile and say "Thank you for your kind words. Best of luck in your writing career." Because, believe me, with an attitude like those people have, they're going to need all the luck they can get!

[Jill Elizabeth]

Wow - I've been blown away by the response to my question.  Thanks again for all of your kind and supportive comments, they've been very helpful.  I decided to go with my initial response and just delete/ignore the comments - if she comes back again with another, I may post it and respond in the "Thanks for your comment, everyone has their own opinion" vein, but most likely will just delete it again.  I'm guessing she won't be back tho and that failing to get a response, she has moved on to someone else.  I'm sorry about that, but am afraid it's likely true...  

Thanks again!

jill

[Christy]

Just delete and ignore them.  The person is obviously only looking to make personal attacks, and nothing good can come of engaging with him/her.  If they were truly a discussion questions, then you might want to reply.  But this is a troll.. do not feed the trolls..  :)

[Beccie]

It's not you,it's them.  As you say we are all free to share our opinions and if someone doesn't like that well then they are free to share their's as well.  I've only had one problem where I gave a book a bad review and the author asked me to remove it.  I professionally declined by stating that's censorship and if you can't take a bad review then you shouldn't seek out reviewers. As for most posts, if someone leaves a nasty comment on my blog I delete it simpley because it's in my power and hey none of the fans actually know me anyways so their opinions on me personally don't really affect me.  You just take it with a grain of salt and keep going.  

Beccie

www.facebook.com/Bookiesfan

[Stephen Lawrence Brayton]

Pompous and irritating? Hmm...I've been called irritating, but never pompous. lol

 

Jill, there are some people who don't have anything better to do than insult. My advice is delete the comment and move on. You're not going to change the person's attitude and ignoring them is best.

[Jill Elizabeth]

Stick with it Stephen - I'm sure your day will come...  ;)

Seriously, thanks for the kind words.  That is what I did.  It's been extremely nice to see the responses to my question on this though - definitely more than made up for the irritation of the comments!!