Jeffrey Alan Payne's Blog (31)

On Saturday, July 14th, The Sheepdogs” played at radio station102.1 The Edge’s venerable concert series “Edgefest” in Toronto.  The Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, rock and blues foursome were unveiling new material before a raucous crowd of Jägermeister and beer imbibing sun-fried 18-34 year olds.  Most of the audience had only just recently become acquainted with the band’s harmony-rich and guitar bluesy (Lynyrd Skynyrd/CCR/Allman Brothers) tinged guitar and (CSN/TheBand/Guess Who) style…

I recently wrote this article for a magazine.  It was rejected because they said, “It’s not very appetizing.”  I did a re-write replacing the exotic tastes with more mainstream cuisine like Canadian bacon and poutine.  It was accepted. 

I’d still rather eat a balut than ketchup potato chips; those things are just deviant.   

In Cambodia, they eat tarantulas. …

The 2011 International Book Awards have been announced by sponsors JPX Media Group in Los Angeles, California.  Among those honoured is a Toronto author who recently completed his first book, “MFN – A Cultural Satire”.

Jeffrey Alan Payne wrote the comedy novel over the course of a year, beginning in July 2009.  The story reflects contemporary news events from that period, including the death of Michael…

I just received notification that my book "MFN" - A Cultural Satire is an "Award-Winning Finalist in the 'Humor' category of the 2011 International Book Awards". (http://www.internationalbookawards.com/2011awardannouncement.html)

I don't know exactly how proud I should be, or how large on an honour this is within literary circles.  However, it's encouraging.

It’s a bittersweet era for those “old school” readers of pulp and binding, those who regard an afternoon in a hammock indulging in a good old fashioned page-turner as warm engaging personal escape.   Many don’t feel quite the same level of intimately comfortable enjoyment, reading from a digital screen. 

Those people are apparently not the ones buying literature.  E-books are now outselling hardbacks, and paperbacks are losing market share at a faster rate than even industry…

Let’s face it.  Pakistani tourism has got to be suffering, what with the constant threat of suicide bombers and Islamic extremists hell-bent on kidnapping Westerners, not to mention the possibility of yet another Middle Eastern populace uprising and revolution.

However, there is one city in Pakistan that has been free of any violence and maintains a moderately conventional suburban aesthetic:  Abbottabad.  Located just 31 miles northeast of Islamabad, this clean and quiet…

The year 2011 has been a real game-changer, especially for those who’ve devoted their careers to climbing political ladders and reaching for their country’s highest “people management” position:  ruthless, undisputed, autocratic dictator.

First there was Tunisia, then Egypt.  Bahrain’s police finally got to try out their rubber bullets and tear gas grenades.  Most notably of late, Moammar Gadhafi has turned his delusional pigheaded arrogance into an international…

I was strolling through a public library branch recently and noticed a book cover.  The author was Dr. Zhi Gang Sha, who is described on the tome as a “#1 New York Times Bestselling Author”.  The title was “Divine Soul Songs”, and it proclaimed itself as “Sacred Practical Treasures to Heal, Rejuvenate, and Transform You, Humanity, Mother Earth and All Universes”.

I thought, “Boy Howdy!  This guy really knows how to build some lofty…

An open letter to Charlie Sheen:

Dear Charlie,

On behalf of every comedian, talk show host, entertainment reporter, radio announcer, journalist and blogger on the planet, we send you our unmitigated appreciation!  Because of you, half our work is done before we even sit down behind our keyboards.  Your thoughtfulness and precision in creating one great story after another is unparalleled!  You, my friend, are comedy and gossip…

People responsible for two of the most monolithically legendary media spectacles in human history are scratching their heads and scrambling.  Viewership consistently wanes; television networks and sponsors are scrambling for ratings.

First, it’s the NFL’s Pro Bowl.  Traditionally, the Pro Bowl was played on the Sunday AFTER television’s most widely watched event, the Super Bowl.  However, it turns out that the public doesn’t care about football after the championship has…

Jeffrey Alan Payne routinely references his own name on internet search engines.  As author of the comedy novel “MFN – A Cultural Satire” and creator of the website www.jeffreyalanpayne.com, Payne frequently monitors to see how his site and mentions of his book are ranking on the worldwide web.

Over the weekend, Payne was surprised to find a new spin on his name search:  announcements of his own death.  The story was on several…

The holidays have faded into fragmented memories, like those Christmas tree needles that continually pop up in the car, even after we vacuum.…

You’ve got to hand it to DC and Marvel Comics. For the first twelve years of my life, they had me convinced that an errant exposure to gamma rays, could potentially arm me with a cache of incredible super powers.

It was always something cosmic, gamma or radioactive, and that concept was a ubiquitous part of our thought patterns. In my young mind, being attacked by a radioactive seagull might just….I don’t know….give me the ability to eat an

insurmountable number of…

New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys are touring together under the collective moniker NKOTB/BSB. They’re coming to Toronto in June, and the shows have already been announced with tickets on sale.

I can remember when the Rolling Stones played Detroit in their heyday. There would be an announcement on the radio, “Tickets go on sale in twenty minutes. They’re only available at the venue, which is inconveniently located in the bowels of the most impoverished congested…

Author Jeffrey Alan Payne remains cautiously optimistic about the chances of a movie being made, based on his new book.

“Until I’m sitting in a theatre with a bag of overpriced Gummy Bears and a bucket of popcorn, watching my story on the big screen, I’ll remain skeptical,” the writer is referring to his novel “MFN – A Cultural

Satire”, which has been available through Amazon and Kindle since

September.

“I went on a…

MFN, A Cultural Satire

Jeffrey Alan Payne…

Keith Richards’ new autobiography “Life” hits book stores tomorrow, and Keith has manufactured a media storm with tawdry teasers and riveting snippets about his experiences as founder of “The World’s

Greatest Rock and Roll Band”.

Amongst the rumours that Keith quashes is the legend of his reputed blood transfusion procedures in Switzerland, to kick heroin. In the book, he recalls that he merely told a group of European paparazzi that…

There’s a scene in the movie “The Social Network”, where Mark Zuckerberg is asked about the number of visitors on his fledgling Harvard website, “You got twenty-two hundred hits?”…