‘I was easily lured by the prospect of dancing in a dirndl and sampling every wurst imaginable.’ For a moment I imagined I was reading Helen Fielding’s new book. But no, it’s Pippa Middleton writing in her column for the Daily Telegraph.
We hear that Pippa travelled across Austria clad in a dirndl; for example she can be spotted in a picture from Salzburg. Maybe she wrote a postcard home. ‘It’s rather jolly here. I’ve discovered the Austrian soul. Look, this is me wearing a dirndl. Love, Pippa.’
And then there is Sex Box on Channel 4, in which couples make love in a closed booth (the box) in the studio and report on it immediately afterwards. Here too, nothing happens. Actually it’s just Big Brother, but with a panel of experts.
But what would happen if an extra-terrestrial would write a poem about us?