For the regular readers of my blog you know that my brother is quite a character. Here’s the link to his past escapades. http://zackaryrichards.blogspot.com/2012/05/adventures-of-beercules...

During the recent holidays we got together and he told me what’s been going on in his life. It turns out he’s the facilities manager of some Catholic Diocese’s locale and his job is to make sure everything works properly. In addition, he chauffeurs the nuns around when they have to travel or shop.

He explained that on a recent outing to Manhattan he was accompanied by a young nun assigned to purchase new furniture. The Diocese had made a deal with some lower Manhattan outlet and he was driving her there.

If you’ve ever been to Manhattan you know how crazy the traffic is, and if you’ve ever ridden in a NYC cab, you know that a roller-coaster ride dulls in comparison.

Well Beerculees is driving the diocese’s van, the nun is in the passenger seat and they’re are making their way through mid-town traffic when suddenly, a cabbie cuts in front of them, missing their van by mere inches. Startled, the nun jerks back, points and shouts, “Watch out for that asshole!”

To which, my brother, ever the cool guy, turns to the nun, places his splayed fingers against his chest and says in an affected British accent, “My word!”

Well the young nun immediately apologizes for her outburst and choice of language but my brother laughs, waves her off and says, “Actually, I think you hit the nail right on the head.”

So later on we’re sitting around having a brew when he asks what animal I thought was the most dangerous.

I kick it around and decide that the shark is the most dangerous, since it is usually described as a killing and eating machine.

He says, “Nah, once you’re out of the water, the shark can’t hurt you.”

So I give it some more thought and said, “Okay, a lion or tiger. They can run faster and climb trees.”

“True,” Beerculees replied, “but if you dive into water, neither will likely follow.”

Which was probably true, so I said, “Okay, smart guy, which animal is the most dangerous?”

He replies, “A bear. Because it can run faster, climb faster, swim faster and should you decide to try to escape by walking a tightrope across a chasm, a bear will follow, holding a tiny umbrella.”

Wise-ass.

So I patiently waited my turn.

It came when he asked how I’m getting along with our sister, who I invited to move in with me while the extensive repairs are being made to her house from Superstorm Sandy.

I shrugged and said, “Well our differences took a little getting used to. You know what an early bird Darla is and how I’m such a night owl and that she’s a vegetarian and I’m a meat and potatoes kind of guy. Plus she’s hooked on those reality shows and I can’t stand them. But she has a kind heart and a pleasant personality so we make it work. Besides,” I said casually, “The sex is fantastic.”

Ever seen those cartoons when you were a kid where the character’s eyes bug out, the jaw drops and the tongue unfurls like a rolled up rug, while making a sound like an old time ‘ah-oooh-gah’ car horn?

Well that was the look on his face.

Priceless.

So I let him stew for a while then when I saw he couldn’t stand it anymore I said, “Oh c’mon. You know I’m only kidding!” And as his face began to relax I added, “The sex ain’t that great.”

Thought I was going to have to ship him home in a box.

 

If you enjoy my posts and are on Facebook, please click on my Ari Publishing site and click the LIKE button. http://facebook.com/aripublishing I have collected a lot of interesting content recently and you might want to have a look.

  

Views: 3

Comment

You need to be a member of Book Blogs to add comments!

Join Book Blogs

Need help?

Badge

Loading…

RSS

Cover Love April Edition

April Edition Spring is in the air and beautiful covers are blooming! Here are some cover designs breathing new life into our TBR pile this month, including YOUR top-loved cover this month – A WHOLE NEW WORLD by Liz Braswell! Click through to read the full description, request the title, and “Like” the cover if you haven’t […]

LibraryReads May 2015 List

May 2015 list LibraryReads has announced the top ten books published this month that librarians across the country love. You can request the featured titles below on NetGalley right now, and view more information on the LibraryReads site.  If you are a librarian, you can nominate titles for the LibraryReads list via NetGalley! View title […]

Tips for Writing Reviews

Why Book Reviews Matter & How to Write Them We’re always talking with our members and publishers to find out how they use NetGalley, and what is important to them when it comes to finding titles, reading them, providing Feedback. Recently some of you told us that you would like some tips on how to […]

© 2015   Created by Tarah Theoret.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service